The Worst Events I’ve Ever Attended (And How I Would Fix Them)
I’ve attended some terrible in-person events, and unfortunately, you probably have too.
Just like there’s nothing stopping someone from launching a crappy course, sadly most people take the mindset that just anyone can host an in-person event, dump a bunch of people in a room and call it a success.
The reality is that hosting a successful in-person event draws on two particular skill sets that most people have never actually been trained in, let alone practiced: learning design and facilitation.
There is literally a science (and an art) to how an experience is architected in order to assure that people get the desired results, and in addition to that - there is an entire field of specialization around how to facilitate and hold space for people within that live event so they feel comfortable, seen and supported.
So I figured I’d take you behind the scenes of some of the worst in-person events I’ve ever attended, and share how I would use my 15 years of experience in learning design and facilitation to fix them.
#1) The draining conference from hell
The worst offense: A full day of back to back lectures, with only breaks for meals, where the speakers talked at us for 45 minutes each and the q and a was limited to 2 participants per speaker.
Why it sucks: The brain actually can only take in about 15 minutes of direct instruction before it’s totally bogged down with information. Non stop talks all day seems like a huge value add for conference attendees, but actually after the second speaker of the day - most people are tapped out (even if they don’t know it).
How I’d fix it: Encourage speakers to have more interaction during their talks. For large events, create workbooks that participants can engage with throughout the day. Consider breaking up the type of speaker or having breakout sessions where participants can workshop together.
Why it works: Transformation doesn’t come from information - it comes from implementation and reflection. Giving people different ways to engage with what they’re learning helps fully implement and soak in all the juiciness of what you’re teaching (and avoid total cognitive overload).
2) the massage chain nightmare
The worst offense: Creating a massage chain conga line and spontaneous dance parties to ‘shake up the energy’ and forcing everyone to participate via peer pressure.
Why it sucks: Nothing, and I mean nothing, should be mandatory in a live event. ESPECIALLY physical touch. This was a relatively small event of about 40 people, so when myself and the 2 people at my table didn’t want to participate, it was incredibly socially awkward and multiple people tried to get us to join.
How I’d fix it: Create a culture of ‘opt in’ versus ‘opt out’. Very often we say ‘ you don’t have to participate if you don’t want to’ but when 9 out of 10 people are all doing the same thing, even if you’re uncomfortable - most people will succumb to fit in with the crowd. Instead try creating invitations with modifications, you’re invited to join this circle, you’re invited to dance, you’re invited to dance or sit in your seat - so that all options feel equally balanced.
Why it works: By creating multiple options, people never feel like they’re doing something ‘out of the crowd’, they’re constantly invited to check in with what they need and honour their own limits. Everything is optional with no weight being placed on what feels ‘normal’ or ‘acceptable’, supporting a ‘safe enough’ environment.
3) the full on retreat
The worst offense: Back to back scheduling of masterminding and group coaching, with zero space or down time.
Why it sucks: Similar to the conference mentioned in #1, small events equally need space and time to breathe. Especially retreats, where you’re often going through a big portal and experiencing some nervous system recalibration, you can’t just coach and work and mastermind and mindset your way through it.
How I’d fix it: Build in time for S-P-A-C-E. Leave an afternoon open for flex time, have spacious lunch breaks, add padding in before and after group sessions, make one meal a solo meal.
Why it works: Even the most extroverted person needs time alone to recharge and soak in all they’re experiencing. There is such beauty in the in-between moments - when everything is quiet and people are just existing - that’s often where the real breakthroughs happen.
4) The mismatched moment
The worst offense: At an intimate event, someone was asking a question pertaining to a recent incredibly successful launch they’d had and when the facilitator turned it to the group, another member derailed the conversation by saying how they wished they could have that successful of a launch and how they haven’t achieved that yet.
Why it sucks: No one should have to minimize their success or have their needs bypassed to cater to either someone more outspoken. Because the facilitator didn’t course correct in the moment, the original person never got their question answered and the whole conversation pivoted away from a discussion that could have been really enriching for everyone involved.
How I’d fix it: Set expectations and surface your facilitation framework right from the beginning of the event. Explain how you’ll handle interruptions or off topic moments, what the intention is for the experience and how your approach supports that intention. For example, our intention is to give each person X amount of space to focus on one core issue they’re bringing to the table, to support this intention I’ll use a timer and invite you to ask questions opposed to share commentary or suggestions. If I sense we’re moving away from our intention, I will lovingly bring us back to centre.
Why it works: When you set expectations right from the beginning, there is no shame when it comes to gently pausing someone who may be overeager. You get to keep the group on track while honouring everyone’s different needs and all people feel held knowing that you are the one holding the structure and facilitating the dialogue.
To sum it all up
Structure and intentionality are absolutely key when it comes to facilitating a successful, transformational event. Creating space for individual needs, upholding group and participant boundaries, and operating from a place of offering invitation to participate rather than forcing, give everyone (participants as well as facilitators) the opportunity to relax, feel comfortable and fully enjoy the in-person learning experience.
